The Seven Deadly Sins
by Mrs.Lautner.Wolf
Summary: The Seven Deadly Sins, Naruto style. Chapter 4 is up and Chapter5 is coming soon.
1. Sloth

**The Seven Deadly Sins.**

**AN: Okay, I was going to write another fanfiction for Chante or whatever (sorry Chante) but today I found out that one of the 'people' at my school (she knows who she is . . . I hope) totally loves anime and Naruto just like me and my friend Shantell (which is the coolest thing ever, EVER! ) but she said it will be our little secret. Luckily for me nobody knows who she is (very lucky because I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when it comes to things like anime) so I can vent all my hype and excitement on . I don't even know what I'm going to write about (again) but the moment I got home I decided I was going to dedicate a fanfiction to her (and no Sasuke bashing because she likes Sasuke -_-). I'll try to make this funny but I suck at being funny so please forgive my crap sense of humour. I hope you like it (Chante, no matter how much you beg I am not telling you who it is so don't bug me on Monday.)**

**Disclaimer: I own Naruto. I'm also related to Ghandi and Oprah. And Mr Miyagi is my grandfather. Don't forget that I have a star on Hollywood Boulevard right between Sean Pen and James Dean. But most of all I hope you get the point. **

**The Seven Deadly Sins.**

**Sloth: being very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very . . . very lazy.**

Sasori, Kabuto, Deidara, Kisame and Pain are all sitting on the sofa watching The Bold and the Beautiful. Brook is getting married for the millionth time to one of the Foresters. Then there is a knock on the door. Nobody says anything.

"_Brooke Logan, do you take this man, Ridge Forester, to love and cherish, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, till death do you apart?_" The TV went on with the day time soap opera.

Ding! Dong! The doorbell rang, and then it rang again and then a third time.

"Who's gonna get the door?" asked Sasori.

"I got it last week," Deidara sighed.

"And I got it five days ago," complained Kisame.

Kabuto rolled his eyes. "I got the door twice this month."

Pain shook his head. "Don't look at me. I opened the door for the repo-man . . . and the bio-hazard people."

Sasori groaned, knowing he had never opened the door, ever. "The window's opened!" he yelled at the direction of the door.

2 months later.

"_Brook, you're leaving me for Ridge? You divorced him last week!_"

The five haven't moved an inch. Not even to go to the bathroom (ewwww).

Then Sasori fell off his chair onto the floor in front of the others and his body was jerking about in sudden movements. It was like he was having a seizure or an epileptic attack and he was foaming at the mouth. And then he stopped moving altogether. Deidara poked him with his big toe. "Sasori, my man?" He poked him again with his toe and said, "I think he's dead."

"Should we help him?" asked Kisame.

Deidara lifted his hand only a few centimetres off of his lap and then it fell back onto knee as he grunted with the effort. "Oh well. We tried."

"Son-of-a-#&%*!" Kabuto cursed.

"What?"

Kabuto reached with his hand, not moving his body from its comfortable position, towards Sasori's lifeless body.

"He has the remote!"

**That's chapter one, only a few more to go. The italics is the TV. I'm so in love with Supernatural and everyone knows that I'm gonna marry Dean Winchester (as if. Jacob Black is the one for me). Anyway, ever since I watched this one episode of Supernatural (season three, episode one to be exact) I have been obsessed with the seven deadly sins. I even directed a school assembly based on them, so I decided to write the Naruto version of the concept. I hope you liked it (especially my secret dedicatee). Chapter two is Envy and Gluttony. Up soon.**


	2. Gluttony

**AN: Okay, writing fanfiction is f&%#ing hard, way harder than I thought it was. And worst of all being funny isn't easy, either. This is the reason I haven't updated in so long, I have no idea what I'm going to do for this next chapter. I will never complain ever again about slow updates ever. Also, I don't have an internet subscription on my computer, I use my phone/3G device and connect using my USB connection, but the catch is I have to always run to the store and buy about R50 airtime and that can only give me about ten minutes on line. Regardless of all this I will try harder to convince my mom to subscribe for uncapped internet, that way I can update at least twice every week. Thank you to the people who review my previous chapter and/or added it as a favourite story. It's good to know that some of you like this so far. Anyway, I try to make this as funny as the first chapter.**

**Gluttony: eating way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way too much.**

**Disclaimer: I wished I owned Naruto, and the Empire State Building, and Tokyo, Japan and a gourd like Gaara, but sadly . . . .**

**Gluttony.**

One day when Choji was feeling a bit peckish (even though he'd eaten five minutes ago), he went into his mother's cupboard to look for a treat. He found pink and blue candies with a cute mouse on the packet. He immediately tore open the packet and scarfed them down.

Hours later . . . .

Choji's mom came back from work to find him lying face down her rug in the middle. He was foaming at the mouth and his eyes had spirals in them. The funeral was the next weekend.

Three weeks later . . . .

"Honey, do you know where the rat poison is?" Mrs Akimichi called out to her husband.

Mr Akimich thought about it. "What kind of rat poison?"

"The pink and yellow kind with the mouse on the packet."

Mr Akimichi answered, "The ones that look like candies?"

"Those are the ones!"

With a gasp, Mr Akimichi jumped from behind his newspaper and covered him mouth with his hand.

"What, dear?" his wife asked, getting a bit worried. She was starting to panic.

Mr Akimichi suddenly realized something important. "I think I fed them to the fish this morning."

**I don't know what you think of that. I thin k it was funny but not as funny as the first one. I know it's short but I think the longer I make it the less funny it is. Sorry I took so long to update but yeah . . . circumstances. Not an excuse for a dedicated fanfic author but I'll try harder. Whether you liked it or you thought it was a piece of rubbish please review and tell me what you think. The next chapter is Envy and ideas are welcome. After that the chapters will be somewhat connected, like a story. The first three will be included in some way or another, but I will make this work. Thank you for reading, it's enough to get by calling myself an author but please put the cherry on top and review.**


	3. envy

**AN: Yeah I told you I would try update faster didn't I? I down it's only been about a split second since I updated the last chapter but I decided that if I don't get this next chapter out now, then it might take me 65 million years. Plus I still have a few minutes' worth of airtime left. I was so busy ranting about my internet troubles last time that I didn't give out a dedication. I could dedicate this to my friend Chante again (Chante, don't deny that deep down inside you love my, dedications) but what fun would that be? **

**So I am going to dedicate this one to my loving and caring husband Taylor Lautner (Chante, don't give me that look!). Taylor is totally in love with me, he just is waiting for the right time to ask for my hand. I can tell that our love is real. I can see it the way he stares at me from the TV. We shall be together soon my love and I write this fic for you as a tribute to our love. XD. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach, or Evagenlion, or DragonballZ, or Prince of Tennis or Wolf's rain . . . I wish I did . . . but I don't.**

**Envy.**

Today was a very mellow day for Konoha. The sun was out, not a cloud in the sky, and everybody could relax. There was no work to be done because all the work had been done already. The only people who were working were the people who wanted to.

Hinata had decided to enjoy this day to its fullest before she had to continue training. She was out and about shopping and going to the library to read a few good books. Her day had been consistently peaceful and the only thing, she thought, that was missing was spending time with Naruto.

As if someone from somewhere had heard her wish and made it come true for her, she spotted Naruto on the other side of the quad, licking and ice-cream. Hinata, before going over to talk to Naruto, looked up at the sky and whispered a small thank you for the wish. She pushed through crowds of people trying to get Naruto, hoping that he would still be there when she was done bumping past all the people in town. She breathed a sigh of relief when she was finally out of the ocean of closely pack bodies and looked around to see if she could spot Naruto. She did.

He was standing exactly where had before; the only thing wrong with the picture was that there was another girl talking to him who had not been there before. What the hell? Where did she come from? In one hand she had an ice-cream just like Naruto's and the other hand was busy twisting a long strand of dark red hair around the index finger.

Hinata quickly looked up at the sky again and whispered this time, "You are so cruel!"

She walked up any way. "H-hello, N-n-Naruto."

Naruto turned to greet Hinata cheerily. "Hey, Hinata! What you up to?"

"N-nothing much. What about you?"

Naruto immediately pointed to the red-hair girl, who was without a doubt gorgeous, and introduced them. "Hinata, this is Chi-Chi. She's new to the Leaf Village. Chi-Chi, this is Hinata."

Hinata didn't want to shake the girls hand and was pleased when she didn't offer it. Instead she just said hi.

"Good to meet you, Hinata. Naruto was just telling me about Ichiraku's and all the places to go here in Konoha. He's good tour guide," she giggled and twisted her finger around her red curl.

Hinata just nodded.

"And cute," Chi-Chi added. Naruto blushed

Hinata didn't like this. It was very wrong. All of a sudden she became red and flustered. The rage built up inside her. How dare this girl flirt with Naruto in front of her? How dare she? Something snapped in Hinata that sent her into a frenzied fury. Chi-Chi stared at Hinata's face as she quickly backed way.

"Are you okay, Hinata?" Naruto asked.

It was as if she hadn't heard his question and was in full kill mode. She pulled out a kunai and charged toward the frightened red-head, running with pace. "STAY WAY FROM Naruto!" she yelled in a crazed tone. She sped toward the frightened girl and just as she was about to reach her . . .

"Ooaf!"

Hinata tripped and landed on her own kunai that stabbed her in the heart.

**How's about that? Did ya like it? Huh? Did ya? Did ya? Did ya? I hope you did! I really do! Even if you didn't I am hyped. It's 00:02 in the morning and I cannot sleep. I drank too much coke. I did, I did, I did! I love coke. It's yummy stuff. Did ya think my story was nice? Hope ya did! I also hope ya have been keepin' track of dead corpse and what they did. Did ya? Don't matter because imma keep remindin' ya. First was Sasori, then Choji and now our seriously OOC Hinata. I don't have many reviews but my traffic is good and many of ya made this story one of ya favourites. Would ya pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please review it for me? ? With a cherry on top? To those of ya who have reviewed before, thank ya. To those of you who will review now thank ya in advance. Kung Fu Hustle is about to start and since I can't sleep then maybe I can laugh myself to sleep watching this movie. Thank you guys for making it this far and I really appreciate it. I have never written such a long author's note before. No more coke for me, *opens new can and takes a sip* Good night everybody!**


	4. Lust

**A/N: BOOOOOYYYEEEEAAAAHH! I'm back, baby, and I brought a new chapter with me. I don't have much to say except the usual. My USB cord was stolen! *GASP* Okay, so maybe they weren't trying to steal the USB cord but they stole a whole bunch of my stuff and my cord happened to be among those things, but hey . . . So now I am completely and domestically internet-ly crippled. Right now I am probably uploading this illegally on the for-academic-purposes-only school library computer. I haven't asked my mom for a new USB because she mom scares the HELL out me. So I'm going to try ease into it. Thank you so, so, so, so very, very, very much to all those who reviewed the previous chapters. Echo Uchiha, your reviews on my story, which put a huge smile on my face, have been much appreciated. And I mean MUCH appreciated. To the rest of you who read my story and never review (I know you're out there. My story traffic is unbelievable) please, please make my smile just a little bigger by reviewing after you read. It will make me so happy. Okay, so I'm imagining a bunch of people exiting this story because I talk too much. I so do not talk too much. I'll have you know that . . . *five hours later* . . . so it's totally unfair to say that I talk too much. I'll shut up now so that you can enjoy the story.**

**Disclaimer: don't own Naruto. If I did people, would know just how awesome Gaara is.**

**Lust: Being very, very, very, very, very, very, very, VERY . . . . . . . . . . . . . sexually active (that's not you thought I was going to say was it? Be honest: )**

**Please note there will be no lemons in this story. I'm not that kind of girl (unless it involves Taylor Lautner ****^_^)**

One day, Jiraiya was bored and had absolutely nothing to do, so he went online to log onto , (recommended to him by Dean Winchester). He became seriously impatient with the computer as it took a billion year to power up and load. Her typed in the URL as fast as he could and became even more impatient when his server took an annoyingly long time to load. He had never been on the site before and was very excited to see what they had in store for him on this unclaimed territory.

Once logged in, the Pervey Sage browsed through all the pictures and profiles of every girl available on the sight. He had not noticed the severe nosebleed that the models had induced (the entire desk and tablecloth was soaked in thick, dark red liquid.

He had been through at leaste half the girls profile when one in particular caught his attention. He clicked on the link _.Lady._ He couldn't wait to see what she was like, almost beating up the computer for taking so long.

The anticipation was killing him and then the page appeared on his screen. That's when his nosebleed went off like a tap on full blast. He died from loss of blood and the last thing he saw was that _.Lady._'s true identity was actually . . . DUM-DUM-DUM! . . . . . . Lady Tsunade.

XD!

**Okay, so how was that was lust, people. Hoped you liked it. Some of you might notice that this is a repost of this chapter but it's just that I thought I could make it funnier. Please, please, please review! I'd love to know what you think. See ya. Next is Vengence.**


	5. Vengence

**A/N: Hello, everybody. I have returned to continue this story and save myself from author hell for being such author a crap who never seems to update, so yeah. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Vengeance: It's really just a big word for revenge.**

**Vengeance.**

One beautiful sunny day, Itachi was out at a restaurant with Hidan and Kisame (**It would have been Sasori and Deidara again but I just remembered that I'd killed them off in the first chapter**) eating sweet-and-sour pork with rice and dumplings. The decided to take a little break after a long day of hunting and chasing down tailed beasts. They wanted to re-boost their energy before they continued on their mission.

Little did they know that they were being watched by Itachi's younger brother from a distant café where he sat with team members (who were too busy bickering to notice Sasuke's intense glare into outer space). He watched his big brother eating with his companions. He found this to be the perfect opportunity to attack his brother for his guard would be down. He would not let this chance slip by him.

Yes. today was the day that Sasuke Uchiha finally avenged his clan by the blood of his big brother. After all these years, the perfect chance arose out mere coincidence and pure luck that he were to be at the right place at the right time. Finally he can bring his big brother the same fate that he had brought the Uchiha clan. Today was the day Sasuke had waited for all his life.

He watched his brother eat and converse with the other two Akatsuki members and waited for the perfect time to strike. The time when Itachi would least expect it, when his attack would be the most effective. He watched the three like a hawk watching for its next kill.

When Itachi was about to finish his food, Sasuke jumped up onto the rooftop until he was right above his brother, sitting at the outside eating area. He was almost done with food.

That's when Itachi choked on his dumpling and dies of suffocation.

Sasuke was so frustrated that he pulled out a gun that was conveniently nearby and shot himself in the head.

**A/N: Wow, these stories get more and more ridiculous every chapter. Anyhooo, I want to know what you think about this. You can tell me via a review. So press that button right below this story. For me! PLEASE!**


	6. Pride

**A/N: Making up for lost time and being a crappy author. Thanks for making it this far and being patient with me. It's more than I deserve. Enjoy the story.**

**Pride: being very, very, very, very, very, very big headed.**

**Pride.**

After a very tiring mission, Team Gai returns to the leave with a job well done. Neji and TenTen decided to take a break while Gai and Rock Lee have already set their minds on training some more. After all, you've got to keep the youthfulness alive, right. Once they've reported to Lady Tsunade, they headed out to their "SECRET TRAINING GROUNDS" being the mountains near a lake.

"Alright, Lee, let the youthfulness begin!"

"Right!" Lee said, saluting his beloved sensei. They started by running a hundred laps around the lake until their feet bled, Lee trying to keep up with Gai. Then they climbed the mountain without any climbing gear until their fingers and toes were nearly falling off. Once they had been up and down the mountain a few times, they played dodge ball with a couple of mountain boulders. Lee, trying to show Gai just how youthful he could be, threw the gargantuan rock straight into his face.

Gai went flying just a few meters before he could stop the boulder.

His nose was bleeding and Lee ran over to him, looking really ridiculous in the tight green spandex, to see how much damage he had caused to Gai sensei's "manly features".

"No worries, Lee. Because of my superior youthfulness, I can withstand unbearable pain. This," he pointed at his tap-like bleeding nose, "is just a scratch."

Lee looked up at Gai sensei with eyes bright with endless admiration and wonderment. "Wow! Hey, Gai Sensei? Do you think that maybe one day, I will be able to with stand more pain that you?"

At that, Gai let out a howling laugh (which, by the way, he thought was very manly). "Oh Lee, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'll always be better than you at everything!"

Lee's bright eyes dimmed and his smiling face dropped. "Why not?"

"Because, I'm better." Gai said confidently.

Lee started to tear up and his nose started to run. "I'll show you!" he yelled at his sensei. He lifted the rock they had been throwing around earlier and smashed it into his head. The rock shattered into a million tiny stones that rolled around on the ground. "See! I don't feel a thing! I'm just as tough and youthful as you are!"

"Ha! That's nothing! Gai said. He rammed himself headfirst into the mountain, creating a crack from the bottom to the very top of the mountain face. "That! Was painless!"

"Oh yeah? How about this!" Lee pulled out a kunai from their training props and stabbed himself in the arm and thigh. "That felt like a pinch to me!"

Gai chuckled. "So naïve and inexperienced. I can take more pain than that!" Gai broke the thickest branch off of the thickest tree and plunged into his gut as if her were stabbing himself.

The two youth-insane psychos continues to beat themselves until finally they both died of loss of blood when they cut their manhood off.

No body found their bodies because they at their "SECRET TRAINING GRONDS".

**A/N: Hoped you liked that. I'm gonna try finish this story by this week so yeah, I making up for being so miff lately, so please review and tell me what you think.**


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